Responding to Dehumanization: My Journey with Taking the High Road

When we're dehumanized—whether through microaggressions, biased evaluations, or systemic inequality—our instinct is to fight back with anger. It's a natural response when our dignity is challenged.

The easy path is responding to dehumanization with dehumanization. Turn those who think less of us into villains.

What's harder—far harder—is taking the high road. Meeting them with understanding. Trying to see their perspective, fears, and insecurities. This is where emotional resilience gets tested.

One of many things my dad taught me that I didn't resonate with before but resonate with now is "anger meeting anger doesn't solve anything." Those words used to sound like a platitude. I didn't agree. They made me angrier. But now, I understand. So I try. I try to choose love over hatred.

Does it always work? Absolutely not. Sometimes I say, "Fuck the high road" and react with anger.

But afterward, I reflect. This approach rarely leads to resolution. I almost never feel good after. I feel like shit.

I've learned that expecting myself to take the high road at all times is not a realistic expectation. When I fail - because fail more often than I want to admit - I need to be able to forgive myself. Because to love others, I need to be able to love myself first. To have compassion for others, I must first practice self-compassion.

The story I tell myself is: "Love yourself and others. Honor the humanity in yourself and others."

Explore more in my book, "The Stories We Tell." The chapter 19 and 20 are dedicated to this topic.